Supporting another’s success will never dampen your own.
Let that sink in.
Jealousy can be an evil little bug that plants itself in your life when you’re feeling insecure or worried.
But jealousy gets us nowhere. Jealousy is what can dampen your own success.
Be a community connector, a supporter and a friend to others and celebrate their accomplishments with them. They will be right there celebrating yours when the time comes too. 🎉
So what can you do when you feel that jealousy coming on when you see a peer succeeding?
Check in with yourself.
Take a step back and evaluate your reaction to their success. Why is it making you feel anything less than happy and proud of them? Is it something you have wanted to accomplish but haven’t yet? Why haven’t you? Getting to the root of your reaction can help you shift your mindset and separate your own progress from your support of someone else.
Be kind, always.
Your internal dialogue might be saying unpleasant things about yourself or the person who is succeeding, but never, ever say those out loud just to ruin someone’s excitement. Can you imagine if you achieved something big that you’re excited about, and someone reacted by telling you why you don’t deserve it? Don’t be the rain cloud on their sunny day. Like we said as kids, if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all. A simple congratulations and be on your way if that’s all you can muster.
Consider asking them to be a mentor.
Sometimes it feels like we’ve created this crazy narrative that we need to be good at all the things we do, whenever we try them. Which might be why someone else succeeding in something you’re struggling in can seem so painful. Rather than developing spite and resentment, consider asking them to be a mentor of yours. If they have the time and resources, they will most likely say yes. People love using their skills more and talking about them, which can work to your advantage when you want some peer support.
Above all, be kind to yourself. If you are feeling jealous or spiteful at someone else’s success, there is a root to that emotion that needs to be addressed and if you feel guilty for feeling angry, you’re already a step in the right direction. You are a good person, and what you are is enough. You are allowed to celebrate others.
In fact, it’s encouraged.